Monday, July 07, 2008

House of Dead Dogs: A Comedy

Scene: A mother nervously approaches a strange house where she will be dropping her Baby Monster off for a few hours while she and her husband attend a wedding. The mother nervously rings the doorbell and waits. A slightly frazzled looking woman answers the door and ushers the mother and the Baby Monster into her home. Trying to ease the awkwardness, the mother introduces herself and the Baby Monster, thanks the woman for watching her child and assures the woman that the Baby Monster is the sweetest baby that ever walked the earth. At this point, the Baby Monster yelps with delight and runs into the living room. The mother follows behind to see what he is so excited about and notices the rear end of a dog sticking out from underneath a sheet. Baby Monster is jumping up and down and pointing to the dog.

Mother: Oh look, Baby Monster, it's a puppy! You love puppies!

Baby Monster: Dawk! Dawk! (More jumping and pointing).

Mother: I know, you love dogs!

Frazzled-Looking Woman: Yeah, the dog is dead.

Stunned silence. A teary, fourteen year old girl removes the sheet to reveal a stiff dog, spread-eagle on the floor. More stunned silence.

Mother: I

Frazzled-Looking Woman: Yes, she died in the middle of the night. We're not quite sure what to do with her.

Baby Monster runs over and hits the dog which, to his credit, is his way of petting animals but is, nevertheless, incredibly inappropriate for the situation. The mother ushers her Baby Monster to the other side of the room. Mother wonders what the proper etiquette is in this situation and whether she should leave her baby at a home where they allow dead dogs to lay on the living room floor for hours at a time.

Mother: Well, I should be back around 3:00 to pick Baby Monster up. Mother mumbles something about being sorry again. Um...Ok...I guess I'll see you later. Um...Bye.

End of Scene


  1. Meghan that is hilarious and disgusting! I'm cracking up. You can call me to babysit if you need to... I don't have a dog... anymore.

  2. This is really creepy. Was everything okay when you got back (and was the dog gone)?

  3. Wow. Creepy. I can just imagine a little kid trying to crawl up on the dead dogs back and try to ride it.

    Just to weird you out more as to what may have happened while you were gone. Haha. Hope you're doing well, it's been a long time!

  4. I love that you wrote a scene about this!
    But seriously, what the . . .?
    and I finally got to your blog.

  5. Oh man, this is the funniest blog I have ever read in my entire life... not exaggerating!!!!!

  6. Too funny! Maybe you should write in to Emily Post on this etiquette issue. :-)